WHEN WE MEET
Every Tuesday
- Lunch
- 12:00 – 1:30 p.m.
- Evening
- 7:00 – 9:00 p.m.
We alternate between the two each week. Li lives in Sweden and follows Central European Time (CET).
Grow Up for Couples
A relationship can hold love, commitment and good intentions, and still become the place where our youngest parts take over.
One person wants to come closer, the other withdraws. One becomes critical, the other defensive. One feels more mature and blames the other for not growing up, or the other doesn’t feel seen and understood. Old fears, unmet needs and projections start moving between two people who may both understand exactly what is happening and still feel unable to change it in the moment.
This is where Grow Up for Couples begins.
The work is not about fixing your partner or becoming perfectly regulated together. It is about learning to recognise what belongs to you, what belongs to the other person, and what is actually happening between you now.
As each of you becomes more able to stand in your own grown-up, the relationship has more space and you can more easily let each other be who you are, rather than trying to make each other into who you hope the other will become.
There is less pressure for one person to regulate or rescue the other, or to live up to each other’s expectations.
There is more possibility to meet as two adults.
What’s included in GUMP
Weekly Live GUMP Sessions
Weekly Sharing and Pods
A Grow Up Mentor and Quarterly Coaching Calls
Two In-person Retreats
8 Guided Transformation Modules
Experiential Practices
Access to All Replays
Community
Flexibility to Pause
Member Prices on Retreats and Events
WHERE
Your living room
In your living room or favorite private space. We meet on Zoom, so all you need is a quiet spot and a screen.
PAUSE YOUR MENTORSHIP
Life can get in the way
I know life can get in the way. If a year-long commitment feels like a lot, you’re welcome to pause your mentorship whenever you need. Just let me know how long you’d like to pause, and we’ll pick up right where you left off when you’re ready.
Note that you can pause your mentorship but not the payment plan (if you have one).
What is the content?
One process, applied to a whole life
Although you are joining as a couple, GUMP is not only about your relationship.
The patterns that appear between you are connected to the same system you bring into parenting, family, sexuality, work, belonging, creativity and purpose.
Is GUMP for you two?
GUMP may be for you if:
You love each other and still keep ending up in the same conflict.
You have both done some inner work and want to bring that understanding into the relationship.
You want to learn how to take responsibility for your own patterns without disconnecting from each other.
You want greater intimacy without merging or losing yourselves.
You are parents and want your children to grow up with two people practising how to be the grown-ups.
You are both willing to look at your own part, not only at the other’s.
You want a shared language for conflict, repair, boundaries, needs, desire and the moments when the past takes over.
Grow Up Mentorship Program for Couples
€3,950
each, half of €7,900 for the couple
One payment · save €190
per couple
- Weekly live GUMP sessions with Li
- Weekly sharing sessions and optional closed pods
- Grow Up mentor support and quarterly coaching
- Two Friday-to-Sunday retreats
- Full access for both of you to all 8 modules, practices and the replay library
- Option to pause your membership for up to six months
- 50% off VITAL and member prices on other retreats and events
30 days to feel into it, with a full refund
Before you decide
Three things people ask us most.
There has to be at least one grown-up in the room
And over time, the possibility is that there are two.
This does not mean becoming calm, reasonable or emotionally detached all the time. But it also doesn't mean expressing every emotion when it is carrying a heavy projection.
Free emotional expression can feel releasing in the moment, but it can also lead to a repetition of drama. It is difficult to carry emotional weight that feels unfairly directed at us.
When we can instead notice that a younger part has taken over, give that emotion its right place in the past, and return with more perspective, we are less likely to ask our partner to carry the whole experience.
The stronger each person's relationship with their own grown-up becomes, the less the relationship has to carry what belongs to the past.
When two younger parts meet
Our partners often receive more projection than almost anyone else.
A small moment can suddenly carry the emotional weight of something much older. A tone of voice becomes rejection. Distance becomes abandonment. A request becomes control. A boundary becomes proof that we are not loved.
Even after years of inner work, or even if we work with people ourselves, our own relationship may still be the hardest place to grow up. And if we don’t think it is us, it may be our belief that our partner is the one who needs to do the work.
In GUMP, you learn to notice when these dynamics are happening and begin separating the person in front of you from the old story being activated inside you.
Rooted in polyvagal theory, Somatic Experiencing and attachment work combined with dance, movement & embodied play.
A psychosomatic education
Learning to understand yourselves from the inside
GUMP breaks down complex understanding about the nervous system, trauma and maturity into simple tools and life lessons you can apply in everyday life.
I call this an education because the intention is not for either of you to become dependent on a teacher, therapist or facilitator. And it is also not for you to become dependent on each other for your healing.
In the beginning, mentors, guidance and community can be important. But over time, each of you learns to recognise what is happening inside, understand what you need, and increasingly find your way back to your own center.
This also changes what becomes possible between you. Instead of asking the relationship to solve everything, you become more capable of relating securely.
Not your normal therapist
Even though the depth of this work is connected to highly clinical and trauma-informed methods, Li is not your normal therapist.
Li’s work has also been shaped by years of lived experience in community, embodiment, spiritual practice and lifestyle change, including living in Mozambique, Brazil and other places around the world.
Li sometimes calls this work trauma fun.
Because the belief is that we do not grow only by sitting still and analysing ourselves. We also need community and other people to mirror us. We need to play and explore pleasure. We need movement, dance and rhythm.
The main intention is still the inner work: building grown-up capacity, uncoupling the past from the present, and becoming more able to stay with ourselves when life gets challenging.
But along the way, you will also experience practices inspired by different cultures, traditions and ways of working with the body. Guest teachers join both online sessions and retreats to enrich the experience.
Growing up is not only about being “mature” in the serious sense. It is also about becoming more alive in all aspects of life.
From Foundations into GUMP
If one or both of you have already done Grow Up Foundations, you have started learning the core process: recognising when the past is entering the present, understanding what is happening in your body, and practising how to find your way back to the grown-up.
You do not need to have attended Foundations to join GUMP. But for those who have, those six weeks can already create a meaningful shift.
GUMP is where you get the time and support to live it, individually and together.
Over a year, the same principles begin to meet the places where your patterns actually show up: not only in triggers between you, but in belonging, boundaries, pleasure and sexuality, parenting, work, purpose and the way each of you relates to yourself.
GUMP gives you a place to keep practising, be mentored and supported, and bring back what is actually happening between you and in the rest of your lives.
If you continue from Grow Up Foundations into GUMP, the price paid for Foundations will be credited toward your GUMP membership. If you join GUMP before the next Foundations starts, Foundations is included as a bonus.
Meet your facilitator
Li Tadaa
Li Tadaa is a somatic guide and facilitator, weaving embodied practice, relational intelligence and group work. For years she has been holding spaces where people reconnect to their bodies, to each other, and to what really matters, with warmth, honesty and depth.
Learn more about LiTHEORY & DEEPER UNDERSTANDING